The afterthoughts of every relapse | 12-16-2023

My heart weighs heavy with the burden of emotions that have been haunting me since the day you left. It's a peculiar kind of pain, one that lingers like a shadow, a constant reminder of the love that once bloomed between us. I find myself grappling with the memories of your words, your actions, and the void that your absence has left in my life.

I remember the first time our eyes met, and the world seemed to stand still. Your smile was a beacon of warmth that drew me in, and in that moment, I knew that I had found something special. Little did I know that the love that blossomed between us would become both a source of unparalleled joy and an excruciating pain.

Your words, once sweet melodies that resonated in my heart, have now become echoes of a haunting tune. The promises we made, the dreams we shared - they now serve as painful reminders of a love that slipped through our fingers like grains of sand. The way your words cut through me, leaving wounds that time has yet to heal, is etched into the fabric of my being.

And then there were your actions - a series of choices that shattered the foundation of trust we had built together. Each betrayal, like a dagger to my heart, left scars that refuse to fade. I replay those moments in my mind, questioning where it all went wrong, wondering if there was anything I could have done differently to salvage what we had. The pain of your actions is a constant companion, a heavy burden that I bear every day.

Your presence, once a comforting embrace, now feels like a void that cannot be filled. The empty spaces you left behind echo with the silence of what once was. I find myself searching for you in crowded rooms, yearning for the sound of your laughter, only to be met with the harsh reality of your absence. It's a loneliness that cuts deep, a solitude that seems insurmountable.

I want you to know that despite the pain, I am grateful for the love we shared. It was real, it was intense, and it shaped me in ways I could never have anticipated. But the excruciating pain of losing you is a testament to the depth of that love. As time passes, wounds may heal, but the scars will remain - a testament to a love that was, and perhaps will always be, a defining chapter in my life.

I wish you happiness and fulfillment in whatever path you choose. Though the pain you left me with is excruciating, I am slowly learning to navigate this journey of healing. As I bid farewell to the love we once knew, I hope that time will be kind to both of us, bringing the peace and closure we so desperately need.

With a heavy heart...